Wednesday, 14th November 2007 at 10:28 pm

Commando Boot Camp: we’re dead

Feverpitcher hasn’t slept much this past week, and those many waking hours have been filled with a sense of impending doom. We’ve done some silly things in the past, but this outstrips all of them by a mile: in a fit of madness (and unduly influenced by a couple of bottles of particularly good Miravel cabernet sauvignon), we’ve signed up for Commando Boot Camp. We’ll be dead by the end of day one.

Commando Boot Camp is the evil creation of Huenu Solsona, the gorgeous but terrifying South African who started the Adventure Boot Camp for Women phenomenon a couple of years ago. Having terrorised women across the Cape for long enough (people who’ve done the camp all rave about it, and claim it’s wonderful; Feverpitcher suspects mass hypnosis), Solsona has gone co-ed - and we’ve been foolish enough to accept an invitation.

Which means we’ll all be sporting shaved heads at six in the morning while some drill sergeant-type barks orders at us, directs completely unnatural exercise routines, and reduces us to tears within the first 15 minutes. A careful diet of red meat and Heineken doesn’t lend itself to Commando Boot Camp readiness, so the Feverpitcher obituary is imminent. We’re not sure when we’ll be doing it - we’re putting it off for as long as we can - but we’re scared witless. Keep us in your thoughts.

• If you’re mad enough to consider it, drop in at www.commandobootcamp.co.za for more info; for the women only camp - available in Johannesburg and Stellenbosch from 2008 - visit www.adventurebootcamp.co.za. Don’t say we didn’t warn you…