Wednesday, 26th September 2007 at 3:31 pm

Frans Steyn off, but conspiracies abound

There’s was a collective holding of breath across South Africa early this week, but despite the best efforts of the Axis of Evil - known more colloquially as the citing commission - Frans Steyn has been cleared of supposedly biting a Tongan, an act even Bakkies Botha would think twice about. It means the enigmatic star is free to wear the number 12 jersey (or the 10, 11, 13, 14 or 15 jersey; throw in number nine, and he could be the new Ruan Pienaar); the entire Springbok squad, however, remains a unit living in fear.

Steyn’s attempted censure followed a four-week ban for Schalk Burger for bumping into an opponent (subsequently cut when even the Axis of Evil realised the punishment was an embarrassing broadcast of their rampant anti-South African sentiment), and a yellow card for Bryan Habana, awarded, as far as Feverpitcher could tell, for looking fiercely at an opponent. The world versus South Africa? It certainly feels that way.

To be honest, the criminal intervention of the Axis of Evil hasn’t hurt the Springboks too much so far, but the prospect of what they’ll get up to once the knock-out games arrive is terrifying. John Smit banned for life for throwing in skew at the line-out? Victor Matfield imprisoned for stealing opposition ball? Bryan Habana sent to the guillotine for breaking eight seconds for the hundred metres? The possibilities are ghastly - and at this moment, the Axis of Evil is doubtless deep in discussion of how next to try and derail the Springbok assault on the World Cup. Frans Steyn, one fears, won’t be the last victim.