Tuesday, 11th July 2006 at 9:30 pm

New skipper?

What are the chances? On the face of it, somewhere been slim and Kate Moss; the bookies odds hover in the ‘Elvis as next president’ category.

But with David Beckham having stepped down from the England captaincy, somebody has to take over - and while Chelsea’s John Terry and Liverpool’s Steven Gerrard may be the more likely candidates to take over, giving Wayne Rooney the job is the maverick option that appeals to the darker sense of humour.

Sure, there’s the outside chance that leadership might somehow tame the worst of Rooney’s demons, and spring a great leader from the skilled brute we see at the moment.

But the more likely call is that with free rein at the helm of the team, no international ref in the game would be safe with whistle in hand.

And best of all - take a moment to picture this - Colleen would take Posh’s place as head England WAG (that’s wives and girlfriends, to the unitiated). Tabloid heaven? Like never before…